Saturday, December 27, 2008


This blog is something that I've been thinking about starting for quite a while.  I have felt a little remiss in not writing on Julia's Caringbridge site, because I know there are many people who still check in.  I am very thankful for that site, for everything it did for us and continues to do, and for the continued support and love for our daughter that is found in the guestbook entries.   I know that those who check in would welcome knowing how we are doing, and how Lily is growing into a girl just as amazing and remarkable as her older sister.  But it has never felt to me like the right forum for continuing to write about our life.  

Primarily, I am writing this blog for those people who I know will welcome having a place where they can come and think about Julia.  And, of course, I am also writing it for me.  As life gets busier, and Lily gets older, these things seem to take their toll on the amount of time that I spend just thinking of Julia.  She is always in my heart, and every interaction I have with my world, I believe, is influenced by her in some way. But too often I feel that too much time has gone by without me really thinking about her.  I hope that this site will enable or encourage me to take a little more time a little more often, to sit down and think about Julia.  

It's taken me so long to start this, partly, because it did not seem like a "normal" thing to blog about.  But, as Bert pointed out to me, really nothing about our life since Julia's death seems "normal".  I thought that was a good point.  I don't really know what this will become, how frequently I will post or what I will write about.  But I do know that writing about Julia, and  about life, always makes me feel more connected to myself and to my girl.  And I know that I am happy to once again have a space to think, write and share about my daughter, and a space where others can do the same.  There is a phrase that pops into my head when I'm embarking on something new which has unforeseeable results, often at unexpected moments (like questioning whether I should put peaches in my guacamole), and always in a squeaky, exuberant, two-and-a-half-year-old's voice.  "We can try!".  I guess that says it all.